Two sides to every story....

It has been a hell of a long time since I last wrote an entry here....and an awful lot has happened, so much and with so many twists and turns that seem all but impossible to have happened. One day in early July 2008 I made a decision that would change not only my life but that of my family's too. Such a masssive decision taken not lightly but, at the time seen as the only clear way forward....

I was in such turmoil, i was fast becoming a 'cornered animal' and we all know what happens then....summopned to a family 'meeting' where I was to be questioned, accused, attacked....I took a work colleague with me to act as a mediator to help save my dignity? more like my sanity!!

No one, it seemed could comprehend what had transpired, no one prepared to believe me when I tried to explain the reasons behind my actions, were they interested? In me or my part ? No, they were only thinking, each of themselves and how it would all impact on their own lives. Not one of them at the time was prepared to tell me they wanted me to be, feel happy and loved - actually for the first time in my life unconditionally.....

And so the meeting came to a close and I was left feeling that I actually had no control of any events and life was unfolding before me, I stood as an interested bystander but feeling powerless to change things and not even sure that I wanted to.

I asked for a year, a year to try and understand myself, to live life for the first time without being controlled by any one else, to live life for ME! I actually thought if I could just be happy for a year then I might go back into the life of drudgery with the man who had always blamed me for everything that ever went wrong in his life and the man who would try to make me grateful that he stayed with me....and my reason for returning would be for the sake of my children and the fact that I would have given up on the dream of living in a happy, loving, caring relationship as opposed to being in an abusive one. When I spoke to one of my sons, he told me that he knew of people who were prepared to die for others, this is true and if it were a case of being able to die to save oneof my children I would do this without a seecond thought, but we're not talking about an actual death we're talking about my happiness and about their acceptance and let's face it - unconditional love from my children....maybe that will take time to manifest. I mean would any of them want me to be so unhappy, to have to go back on to anti depressants, to be suicidal again all because I was being starved of love, affection and appreciation....?

What my husband refused to understand is that IF he had treated me with love and respect, kindness even (I pathetically used to leave notes for him beggin for some kindness because I felt like one of the dogs waiting to be patted on the head or to be thrown a kind word here and there...) then I would never have allowed myself to fall in love with someone else...of course it could never have been a man because I would NEVER have let a man get to know me through and through. The fact that there was no physical expression between us other than hugs and chaste kisses mattered not one iota, we fell head over heels in love with each other, as I said at the time "I'm in love with her very soul!".

The man I married so many years before the man I had been with since I was just 15 years old had reduced me to feeling so worthless, so useless, so unloveable that I never thought anyone would be able to love me and so when that person came along and showed me love and concern, someone who was genuinely interested in me, the real me, I began gaining confidence and feeling some self-worth, my self-esteem was growing, each day was becoming exciting, interesting, I began looking forward to living life at that stage I stopped taking the anti-depressants that I had been prescribed 3 years earlier due to feeling suicidal - and he didn't even notice that!!!

Is it any wonder that I fell in love with the person who was my best friend? The person who did not stand to gain anything from me other than my happiness. What an incredible difference this was to me, I could hardly believe life could feel so wonderful, happiness at last.

Of course none of them realised the above reasons, I was called names I was accused of having an affair (there was absolutely nothing physical between us then) but we were genuinely best friends, soul mates and very much in love...

True love...........

Who amongst us can profess to having tasted 'true love'? I'm sure many of us can say we love, are in love etc but what is the depth of that feeling? We have all of us read accounts of love being able to 'drive a person mad' but do we think of that as somewhat of an exageration? How many can say that they have experienced a love that transcends all else? That makes it so difficult to sleep, that crowds the mind with the subject of that love, that is felt down to the very core of the being and joins the spirits together.
This love being simultaneously selfless and selfish in its intensity, wanting to shout out loud to all that we love another person, another soul, regardless of earthly trappings of colour, race, creed or even gender. The pure force of this feeling taking over everything in our lives as we trust and love unconditionally, teetering on the edge of the precipice as we tread the path between fulfilment and emptiness. The memory of a look, or a touch becoming tortuous whilst at the same time exquisite in the innocence and purity of it all.
If you are fortunate enough to have this sort of love do not question from whence it came, take the hand held out to guide you through this intoxication, enjoy, reciprocate, take and give freely for we do not know how long it will last, but better to have tasted this rarest of fruits than forever wondered what it could be like if..............

Forgetful....or is something more sinister going on?

I am concerned, with good reason, about myself and my future. On my mother's side of the family each and everyone of them from Grandmother down have suffered from Alzheimers. My mother often mixes things up and repeats herself time and again but she still seems to be going strong, thankfully. So I wonder if I should be worried about little things that happen to me, like for instance I have gotten into my car before now, started driving only to have a complete blank mind as to the route I should take to get into town (we've only lived here for 30 odd years!). So how do I determine whether I'm just forgetful due to age (a very young, sprightly 55yrs!) is it normal to forget words in the middle of a sentance? Names of people, places, things, etc? Whether or not 've seen a particular film (not all the time but just sometimes I can sit thru half a film only to find I've seen it already). And what about where I've put something when I want to keep it safe? I always wonder if I should make a note of the safe place in a file but decide against that as it would no longer be a 'safe' place and then spend days (and I'm deadly serious here) looking for the damned thing whatever it is which I invariably find when I'm actually searching for something else!!! And we'd best not start on the going upstairs for something only to remember it once I'm back downstairs again!!!
So, is this the beginning of Alzheimers? Mother decided to ask the GP if she could be tested for it and was told there was no test and not to worry (at least this is what she thinks the GP said to her, but can't quite remember!!!). On my father's side I have an aunt who is 96 yrs old and she has the most amazing mind, she is all there and hardly forgets anything, I'm hoping I will take after her and not my dear dad or his mother who both died in their early 60's of massive brain haemorrhages.
I am determined, dear reader, to live my life to the full, have lots of fun, be daring, outrageous and maybe sometimes a little disgraceful at least when the time comes for me to bow out of this existence nobody can say I haven't lived. I have taken on so many roles in this life and I have laughed and loved through all of them, but the details of these roles are saved for another blog when I have more time, until then my dear reader I beg your patience..........

Friends............

I've been giving some thought to the meaning of friends. I think there are many different feelings that people have for other people they know and they group these people they have the feelings about under the umbrella name of 'friends'.
Some people have few friends, some have many but how can we equate what we term as a 'friend' to another person's 'friend'? Am I losing you dear reader? Do try and keep up, it really does make sense, honestly!
Personally, I have many acquaintances, colleagues, and a few true friends. I am happy with this due to my perception of true friendship. True friendship is a rare and special gift, a union of souls, being totally honest with each other, a deep and comfortable connection between you, unconditional love and trust that is mutually shared and a lasting respect of each other.
There are times, as I'm sure everyone has experienced that one can 'know' instinctively that you really like a person or dislike that person, this often occurs in a first meeting (love at first sight!). I am convinced this has a lot to do with past lives in which we may have shared our incarnation with the soul of the person you have just met in this life. We may never know the actual relationship that was between us but I don't think that is relevant. I have learnt to trust my instincts in everything and I think i am quite 'highly tuned' as far as my feelings about people are concerned. The reincarnation theory certainly explains my love of Cyprus and how 'at home' I was there, in my first visit so many years ago. Also how 'at home' I was living in Germany. Sometimes I even yearn for another time, in a past life that I catch a glimpse of when I am in the woods, collecting firewood, or walking with my dogs, or helping to heal in some way.
Is this too 'heavy' for the reader? Possibly, but remember this is my blog and MY interpretation of things as I see them.
You are, as always free to read or not to read my offerings..............

Our close connection with the universe.......

Have you ever pondered on this? I certainly have, and do (often). Apart from feelings changing throughout the Seasons which many people take for granted and so are left unrecognised, how about the wider aspect of planets that effect us? The first that I'm sure will come to mind is the Sun; a very male energy, hot, strong, forceful and thinking on it, though it is a necessary energy, it can also be powerfully destructive.
But the real reason for this piece is to discuss the power of the Moon. Everyone is aware, I'm sure of the effect of the Moon on the tides in the world. Not just the tides but also as I have experienced in my beloved Island of Cyprus (where there are no tides as such) the incredible effect of this power at the time of the Full Moon and New Moon.
As humans are made up of 98% water, is it any wonder that the Moon is able to effect us? There are many eminent surgeons who refuse to schedule major operations at the time of the full Moon due to the copious flow of blood at this time. Of course emergency surgery goes ahead regardless.
There are so many farmers and gardeners who sow their crops according to the lunar calender. This knowledge having been handed down through generations and from times when failing crops would mean famine and death.
The Moon, a beautiful, gentle, female energy. Why female? The Moon's cycle is the same as the female cycle, a 28 day cycle, 13 cycles in a year. Can anyone deny the connection?
Reading through I am concerned that my description of the Sun and its male energy may appear a tad negative but I can only say that I'm telling it from a pesonal perspective and I am confident of the power of equal opposites so describing one as 'forceful and destructive' and the other as 'beautiful and gentle' is factual. As always, dear reader you take on board what you wish and leave what you don't want...........

Choices.......

I have been giving a lot of thought (as I do) to the subject of 'choice'. Now professionally, my aim for my clients is to realise, acknowledge and accept that they have 'choice' in EVERYTHING. Once they have been empowered in this way I encourage them to use this human right of choice more and more until it becomes a way of life (which should have been in place from the very beginning, but due to circumstances during formative years has often been denied).

We have choices in absolutely everything, not just everyday but practically every minute of our lives from the minor choices of tea or coffee (or ribena, hot or cold in my case) to the more serious ones of shall run this red light, have another glass of wine, smoke or self-harm in any other way. These I think are the choices that we all know we have but what of the 'grey area' decisions we make (these are the ones that aren't cut and dried, not black and white cases such as about relationships ("I can't leave her/him cos i'd feel so guilty", "I can't do this/that cos so and so wouldn't like it") WAKE UP people! and get real - there's no such word as can't (unless it's an impossiblity) so use 'correct language' and say 'I DON'T WANT TO'!) we are all self-responisble. This means we can only control the way WE feel OURSELVES we cannot control the way another person feels, so self-responsibility all the way.

Let's take this further dear reader......... the cards that life deal us are a mixed bunch aren't they? Some good some bad and believe me everyone has a mixed bunch, thugh it may not seem so from the outside. How often do we hear people moaning about 'if only' this/that and all the other 'woe is me' stuff. Some people choose to suffer for literally decades at times "what did I ever do to deserve ....?", "why me.....?", AAAAARGH!!!!! All this wonderful energy being wasted on such negative thoughts, now if these people put this energy into "right, what CAN I do in this situation....?" and "how can I make this situation better...?" - CHOICES dear friends, we all choose how we feel, no one and nothing can MAKE you feel anything at all, it's only how you CHOOSE to feel in any given situation. Once this is recognised and taken on board the quality of life becomes a lot better and in turn we all become happier.

Taking this even further and pushing the limits a little here, I think we all make the supreme choice before we come into this world as to the life we are about to live. I fully believe we choose our lives and famillies to learn certain lessons along the way and for this very reason we ought not to waste our time and energy wishing things were different and actually deal with the situation in which lessons may be learnt. There's no such thing as coincidence my friends, everything happens for a reason. Though it may at times be difficult if we try and embrace whatever is thrown at us in life and do what we can with it we find that we soon pass on to something different, if we struggle against it then it seems to go on forever because we are just not dealing with it properly.

So be happy people and remember you are not responsible for other's stuff and feelings only your own and you have the right to do things others may disapprove of so enjoy!!!

My idea of beauty.........

This is the view from our back terrace, off the bedrooms, but looking north towards Turkey. On a clear day we can see the mountains of Turkey. As you can see our house is in a state of construction and won't be finished until the end of the year, but it's getting there!
Another view from back terrace, I've always wanted to live out in the middle of nowhere and finally got my wish, but got to wait for retirement!

Yet another view off back terrace but looking southwesterly so you can see the beauty of the ravine and the Kyrenia mountain range.
Seem to have put this one twice, instead of a different one, Nevermind........enjoy!!!

The best things in life are free.............

I've given a lot of thought to this and have to agree with this old saying wholeheartedly. But I have to go one further (as the reader knows full well I shall), the best things in life are most certainly free but ONLY IF you have the senses to be able to enjoy them. Think about it, (I did!). I was thinking about when we used to live out in North Cyprus and how I loved to take the daughter (3 yrs old at the time) to what I called our secret valley - why secret? because you couldn't see it from the road and no one other than the odd flock of sheep or herd of goats used to go down there, but it was very near our house and I found it when I was exploring. The beauty of nature never ceases to amaze me, we had views right down the northern coast of Cyprus from the house and at night we would all sleep out under the stars. If anyone woke up during the night we would be lulled off to sleep again by the sound of the sea and the feeling of all being well in our lives as we were being 'at one' with nature. We grew most of our own fruit and vegetables in the incredibly fertile soil out there and felt thankful we could indeed appreciate what was all around us.
And there is purpose of this little offering, 'we could appreciate' what was all around us because we have (thankfully) our natural senses. Sight, hearing, taste, smell and touch. What would be the use of all the money in the world if we didn't have sight to see such beauty, or hearing your baby laugh etc., unless of course the money could pay for an operation to restore the sense.
I've heard people say they would wish for wealth first if they had three wishes because even if they didn't have health they could be ill in comfort! Really? how can you be comfortable if you are ill? Maybe I'm just a wimp but if I feel sick for a couple of days or have a constant headache, sore throat etc I feel so great when it's gone and I couldn't imagine being able to enjoy anything at all when I'm not well, so my heart goes out to those with chronic illnesses who still manage to smile. My wishes would be health first because if I have my health I can do anything (life is what you make it), then happiness ( because that would include everything being ok with my family and friends and finally wealth because though I could certainly manage well with the first two, I could do more for those that need a helpng hand (abused animals, street children etc).
So, there you have it dear reader, I am going to add some photos of what I call natural beauty, but I think they will be in the following post.

A lesson from nature - wolves.........

I have always loved wolves. I'm not sure whether this has to do with any past lives issue or the fact that until 8 years ago we used to keep wolf-like German Shepherds (dogs!). Loving these magnificent animals was instinctual for me it comes from some primordial inner feeling that I have no control over and if I could I would introduce them back into the wild in the UK.
Wolves have historically received bad press; maneating predators, enemy of the livestock farmer, ferocious beasts just waiting to pounce on an unsuspecting chlld, person, animal, just to kill. We also have stories such as Little Red Riding Hood which coditions our children from a very early age to hate and fear these wonderful and much maligned creatures. Many horror films have been made of 'Werewolves' and the crazed bloodlust they have to satisfy at the time of the full moon.
But what of the facts about wolves? Not many people bother to find out the truth. You only have to delve a little deeper into the subject and a whole different character emerges. (Excuse me while I get the soapbox out...')

The wolf is a highly social pack animal. There is total order within the pack and this is kept by the dominant male and female otherwise known as the Alpha male and Alpha female. Wolves mate for life, they are fiercely protective of their pack and their territory. In Scandinavia some years ago they were rounding up wolves to take to a conservation area that had been set up in the north and a large male had been darted and loaded onto a lorry and taken along with others. His mate was not caught and when she found him gone she made a 300 kms trek north following scent or perhaps some inner calling and just over a week later she was found on the outskirts of the reservation attempting to burrow under the fence. She was of course let in and when she met up with her mate once again there was much celebration (wolf style!).
The other important members of the hierarchy that we know about are the Beta wolf, usually a male, second in line to the Alpha and he is responisible for enforcing law and order within the pack but is subservient to the Alpha, he also teaches the young through what we see as play and reprimands and often babysits them. Then there is the Omega wolf he/she adopts a role just as vital as the Alpha though it often seems as if the Omega is everyone's 'whipping boy', her/his role is one of Peacemaker. Somewhat like a court jester, the Omega clowns around, getting in between pack members when it seems tensions are running high which results in the Omega being set upon by nearly all members of the pack to relieve their aggression, the Omega is often seen adopint the submissive position with all other members of the pack. This may seem like a raw deal for this sensitive animal but the Omega is not necessarily a lifelong role and it has been known for a Beta to protect the Omega and also for the Omega (female) to rise to Alpha status should something happen to the original Alpha.

Mating only occurs between the Alpha pair, this ensures the pack continues, just one litter to feed and protect and remembering that the Alpha pair are the strongest, finest of their pack it also ensures strong genes are passed on. At the time the Alpha female is in Season the others in the pack become a little unsettled but this soon passes and once conception occurs te pheromones change and everyone is aware of what is happening.

When the female is near to whelping she seeks out and prepares a den in which she feels safe to have her cubs. As her time comes she steals off to her den alone to give birth. Other members will go to leave food outside her den but do not disturb her as she is fiercely protective at this time. After a few weeks, once she feels the cubs are ready to be introduced to the rest of their pack she leads them back to where the pack are living and this is a time of great welcoming and celebration between all of the members of the pack.
Each pack member will protect the cubs, help to nurture them and discipline them when they step out of line.

I think as humans we could learn an awful lot from the fine example that is set by wolves.

Another year's gone by..........

With the passing of yet another birthday (I'm trying not to count, but it seems everyone else does!) I am again pondering my existence and what (if any) benefit I am to this world. What is my purpose in this life? am I doing the best I can to help those around me (should they want my help), or am I selfishly bulldozing my way through this life according to how I believe things should be? How selfish is that?
The reason for all this inner turmoil is that during my latest Uni course (the learning never stops!) there was an in depth discussion on 'self-actualisation' and of course for those of you who know me, being a Humanistic counsellor (Person Centred) I am naturally a self-actualiser (and proud of it!!!) BUT, (oh yes, here it comes..) how selfish is that to those close to me?
I thought I'd ask the daughter whether she thought I'm selfish, her answer? "Well, you can be sometimes...." I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach, that I, the original earth mother, fearless she-wolf who would protect her pack unto death, supreme sacrificial being who would suffer anything and everything for her offspring (not to mention butt wiping, snot cleaning, taxi driving, horse feeding, grooming and mucking out (in all weathers), in fact -! when did I actually begin to have a life?
"Really?, what makes you say that darling?" I asked.
"Well, like the time on Christmas night, when you stopped playing scrabble in the middle of the game" she said
"But you were cheating, and I didn't want to be a party to that." I replied
"But it was just a bit of fun, why take it so seriously?" she said
"You know I hate cheating, so I just removed myself from the situation."
"Okay, but that spoilt the game for us, so that's what I mean about you being selfish at times".
"I'm sorry you felt that way but I would have felt uncomfortable playing on afte that, so I did what I felt best at the time".
"Exactly, anyway it's no big deal, you asked me and I told you!" and with that she went back to her ipod so end of conversation.
Thinking back and examining my feelings of the time I did not want to continue in a game where there was cheating taking place. Does that mean I'm a 'spoil-sport'? Am I guilty of having a hissy fit and 'spitting my dummy out'? or can it not be seen as a sensible decision made by an adult, utilising her Human Right to make a choice for herself?
So, how selfish am I? I am completely self-responsible and will hold my hands up to anything I do. I'm not afraid to make mistakes because I see them as opportunities for learning curves but selfishness to me is something a person does to the DETRIMENT of others, whereas I would sacrifice everything for those I love if I needed to.

Mindless racial hatred!

Last night I received one of those 'Pass It On...' emails and usually after reading the content and having a laugh (at the humorous ones natch.) I select the friends in my contact list that I think will appreciate the joke and indeed pass it on... But what I saw in this email that I received (I'm not going to say from whom) left me totally disgusted. It showed pictures of soldiers of one nation holding childen and people of another nation at gunpoint and various other awful things. What sort of person wants to pass this dreadful stuff on? and for what purpose other than causing racial hatred and tension? I find this sort of thing absolutely abhorrent and I feel saddened that people can be used by the propaganda machine so easly to perpetrate their terrorist activities.
Am I the only one who has refused to pass this rubbish on? Am I the only one who actually uses my brain and stands up to say a resouding 'NO! this stops here!' ? These sort of images are held by every country about another's violations and war crimes. We would be naive at the very least or stupid to think anything otherwise. What you give out comes back to you, what goes around comes around - so I am sending out my message of love and peace throughout the world as we used to in the 60's and 70's but somehow I wonder if I am truly too good for this world as I feel worlds apart from those who seem to stoop so low they are wallowing in the myre of spreading doom, gloom and misery.

New dog on the block.....

Just returned from our 'little corner of heaven' and have to say how pleased I am that I stuck to my guns over the installation of a gas central heating system in our new house. It was absolutely freezing at night over there, probably seeming more cold due to the lack of efficient heating in the houses and apartments. People usually have the air con units that can blow hot or cold air but although that is quite warm, it is expensive, and only warm whilst it is active. The night we arrived it was snowing and the wind was bitter. The days were warm and sunny, not warm enough for swimming but lovely to sit out in and sunbathe. I still fail to understand how something that feels so wonderful can be so unhealthy.

Whenever we are there we feed the local stray animals, dogs and cats and really anything else that looks stray!!! It's rather funny but you actually get used to the usual neighbourhood dogs barking at various times during the night and together with the constant cricket-creatures chirping it all adds to the 'magic' of the mediteraenean experience. However, on the last couple of nights our nights were disturbed by a totally new voice, as it howled into the night every hour or so. Blessed thing woke all the other dogs in the neighbourhood up and for the first 3 or 4 times they were all trying to outdo each other, vying for rank in the pack. Of course the newcomer will undoubtedly settle down into his new role once he gets used to the sounds of the neighbourhood that are not threatening. Until that time though I'm quite pleased that I returned to UK and the peace and quiet of our neighbourhood, excepting car doors of course!!!

Love/Hate relationship with my pc

Does anyone else have this sort of relationship with their pc? I mean I absolutely couldn't do without it, I enjoy producing work on it, I feel connected with the world through it (I guess because I am, doh!) and I'm learning more about what it can do (I can do on it) every day (or maybe week). BUT, oh yes, you just knew there'd be one didn't you? don't you just hat the way at the press of a button everything that means anything to you can be lost! Please don't start saying about 'backing up' my files, I've had all that from No.1 son (in order of birth date not preference I hasten to add). Funnily enough it was No.1 son who actually 'fried' my computer by pressing the Media Direct button instead of the 'power' button. Now No.1 son is (thankfully) a bit of a computer whizz and so honourably assumed his responsibility in the error he made and took my 'pooter away to try and fix. After many hours of admirable work and siting up on it until 04.00 etc, he managed to recover some of my files, but unfortunately many of the last 12 years of my work, has gone to cyber heaven. I am upset by this of course but I can't be angry about it, it was a mistake, one that I could just as easily have made myself. He has done everything in his power to try and rectify the situation including giving me a laptop that is only a month old and taking my old one in it's place in case there are any further repercussions. So, quite resigned to the fact that I have an awful lot of time to spend trying to recover my work from different places, I am happy with the outcome. The thing I am NOT happy with is the fact that was a button on my computer that could do this to all my work. Dell say they have taken steps to ensure this does not happen anymore and they have rectified the problem after this sort of thing happening to many of their customers - needless to say however, I shall not be pressing the Media Direct button on my new laptop .....just in case.........

Ancestors from the stars?

I heard recently that David Icke has a theory that we may all be being ruled by some sort of shape-shifting reptilian alien creatures from outer space. I don't think he is right in what he is saying. Having said that, I do think it's a possiblity that earth could have been colonised by people from other planets in the past. I shall of course explain my reasoning here.........
Take for instance the ancient races that were so far advanced for the time like the Ancient Egyptians, Ancient Greeks, Romans, Incas, Mayans etc. What has happened to these highly intelligent, super-capable peoples? I mean todays Egyptians, Greeks, Romans? not a patch on the original I'm sure the reader will agree. My theory is that they interbred with humans on earth and so their bloodlines were diluted but could possibly give rise to the occasional genius
(?throwback). It would explain many of the mysteries in the world such as the mathematical calculations done by the designers of the pyramids both in Mexico and Egypt and the construction of them which is difficult even today with the technicalogical knowhow that we have in the modern world.
I'm not sure where I stand on the subject of alien abduction, I suppose it's possible but I have no way of proving it one way or another. I wouldn't like to accuse the 'abductees' of fabricating stories, so I shall keep an open mind on this subject. Has anyone got any views dear reader? If you have feel free to share them with me.

The value of a little mystery within relationships.......

Happy New Year to one and all! This is my first blog offering of 2008, one of many I'm sure. Yesterday I was discussing the 'air of mystery' in a relationship with a relative and we both agreed that a little 'something' kept back, that certain 'je ne sais quoi' tends to help keep the excitement alive. Now, when I say about keeping something back I'm not referring to lies and deceit but just the same as some sexy lingerie is attractive because of leaving a little up to the imagination I find it unnecessary to share absolutely everything about myself with the 'other half'. This is probably beginning to sound a bit odd so let me assure everyone that hubby and I have been together for 39 years so we do know more or less everything about one another.
I cringe when I hear some of the things that some other people don't mind sharing with their partners, such as having a poo when the love of your life is in the bath next to the loo, or farting in front of them on purpose. I mean I am no prude BUT I can't say I would find it anything other than disgusting to share the aroma of the contents of the human colon with somebody that I love. I suppose in that respect I could be thought of as inhibited but I tell it like it is and I find it a matter of common decency. Call me old fashioned if you like but as I said we've been together for 39 years and are still in love and happy with each other, which is more than can be said for many relationships of the more modern couples eh?