Have you ever pondered on this? I certainly have, and do (often). Apart from feelings changing throughout the Seasons which many people take for granted and so are left unrecognised, how about the wider aspect of planets that effect us? The first that I'm sure will come to mind is the Sun; a very male energy, hot, strong, forceful and thinking on it, though it is a necessary energy, it can also be powerfully destructive.
But the real reason for this piece is to discuss the power of the Moon. Everyone is aware, I'm sure of the effect of the Moon on the tides in the world. Not just the tides but also as I have experienced in my beloved Island of Cyprus (where there are no tides as such) the incredible effect of this power at the time of the Full Moon and New Moon.
As humans are made up of 98% water, is it any wonder that the Moon is able to effect us? There are many eminent surgeons who refuse to schedule major operations at the time of the full Moon due to the copious flow of blood at this time. Of course emergency surgery goes ahead regardless.
There are so many farmers and gardeners who sow their crops according to the lunar calender. This knowledge having been handed down through generations and from times when failing crops would mean famine and death.
The Moon, a beautiful, gentle, female energy. Why female? The Moon's cycle is the same as the female cycle, a 28 day cycle, 13 cycles in a year. Can anyone deny the connection?
Reading through I am concerned that my description of the Sun and its male energy may appear a tad negative but I can only say that I'm telling it from a pesonal perspective and I am confident of the power of equal opposites so describing one as 'forceful and destructive' and the other as 'beautiful and gentle' is factual. As always, dear reader you take on board what you wish and leave what you don't want...........
Monday, 24 March 2008
Friday, 21 March 2008
Choices.......
I have been giving a lot of thought (as I do) to the subject of 'choice'. Now professionally, my aim for my clients is to realise, acknowledge and accept that they have 'choice' in EVERYTHING. Once they have been empowered in this way I encourage them to use this human right of choice more and more until it becomes a way of life (which should have been in place from the very beginning, but due to circumstances during formative years has often been denied).
We have choices in absolutely everything, not just everyday but practically every minute of our lives from the minor choices of tea or coffee (or ribena, hot or cold in my case) to the more serious ones of shall run this red light, have another glass of wine, smoke or self-harm in any other way. These I think are the choices that we all know we have but what of the 'grey area' decisions we make (these are the ones that aren't cut and dried, not black and white cases such as about relationships ("I can't leave her/him cos i'd feel so guilty", "I can't do this/that cos so and so wouldn't like it") WAKE UP people! and get real - there's no such word as can't (unless it's an impossiblity) so use 'correct language' and say 'I DON'T WANT TO'!) we are all self-responisble. This means we can only control the way WE feel OURSELVES we cannot control the way another person feels, so self-responsibility all the way.
Let's take this further dear reader......... the cards that life deal us are a mixed bunch aren't they? Some good some bad and believe me everyone has a mixed bunch, thugh it may not seem so from the outside. How often do we hear people moaning about 'if only' this/that and all the other 'woe is me' stuff. Some people choose to suffer for literally decades at times "what did I ever do to deserve ....?", "why me.....?", AAAAARGH!!!!! All this wonderful energy being wasted on such negative thoughts, now if these people put this energy into "right, what CAN I do in this situation....?" and "how can I make this situation better...?" - CHOICES dear friends, we all choose how we feel, no one and nothing can MAKE you feel anything at all, it's only how you CHOOSE to feel in any given situation. Once this is recognised and taken on board the quality of life becomes a lot better and in turn we all become happier.
Taking this even further and pushing the limits a little here, I think we all make the supreme choice before we come into this world as to the life we are about to live. I fully believe we choose our lives and famillies to learn certain lessons along the way and for this very reason we ought not to waste our time and energy wishing things were different and actually deal with the situation in which lessons may be learnt. There's no such thing as coincidence my friends, everything happens for a reason. Though it may at times be difficult if we try and embrace whatever is thrown at us in life and do what we can with it we find that we soon pass on to something different, if we struggle against it then it seems to go on forever because we are just not dealing with it properly.
So be happy people and remember you are not responsible for other's stuff and feelings only your own and you have the right to do things others may disapprove of so enjoy!!!
We have choices in absolutely everything, not just everyday but practically every minute of our lives from the minor choices of tea or coffee (or ribena, hot or cold in my case) to the more serious ones of shall run this red light, have another glass of wine, smoke or self-harm in any other way. These I think are the choices that we all know we have but what of the 'grey area' decisions we make (these are the ones that aren't cut and dried, not black and white cases such as about relationships ("I can't leave her/him cos i'd feel so guilty", "I can't do this/that cos so and so wouldn't like it") WAKE UP people! and get real - there's no such word as can't (unless it's an impossiblity) so use 'correct language' and say 'I DON'T WANT TO'!) we are all self-responisble. This means we can only control the way WE feel OURSELVES we cannot control the way another person feels, so self-responsibility all the way.
Let's take this further dear reader......... the cards that life deal us are a mixed bunch aren't they? Some good some bad and believe me everyone has a mixed bunch, thugh it may not seem so from the outside. How often do we hear people moaning about 'if only' this/that and all the other 'woe is me' stuff. Some people choose to suffer for literally decades at times "what did I ever do to deserve ....?", "why me.....?", AAAAARGH!!!!! All this wonderful energy being wasted on such negative thoughts, now if these people put this energy into "right, what CAN I do in this situation....?" and "how can I make this situation better...?" - CHOICES dear friends, we all choose how we feel, no one and nothing can MAKE you feel anything at all, it's only how you CHOOSE to feel in any given situation. Once this is recognised and taken on board the quality of life becomes a lot better and in turn we all become happier.
Taking this even further and pushing the limits a little here, I think we all make the supreme choice before we come into this world as to the life we are about to live. I fully believe we choose our lives and famillies to learn certain lessons along the way and for this very reason we ought not to waste our time and energy wishing things were different and actually deal with the situation in which lessons may be learnt. There's no such thing as coincidence my friends, everything happens for a reason. Though it may at times be difficult if we try and embrace whatever is thrown at us in life and do what we can with it we find that we soon pass on to something different, if we struggle against it then it seems to go on forever because we are just not dealing with it properly.
So be happy people and remember you are not responsible for other's stuff and feelings only your own and you have the right to do things others may disapprove of so enjoy!!!
Sunday, 16 March 2008
My idea of beauty.........
This is the view from our back terrace, off the bedrooms, but looking north towards Turkey. On a clear day we can see the mountains of Turkey. As you can see our house is in a state of construction and won't be finished until the end of the year, but it's getting there!
Another view from back terrace, I've always wanted to live out in the middle of nowhere and finally got my wish, but got to wait for retirement!
Yet another view off back terrace but looking southwesterly so you can see the beauty of the ravine and the Kyrenia mountain range. 
Seem to have put this one twice, instead of a different one, Nevermind........enjoy!!!
The best things in life are free.............
I've given a lot of thought to this and have to agree with this old saying wholeheartedly. But I have to go one further (as the reader knows full well I shall), the best things in life are most certainly free but ONLY IF you have the senses to be able to enjoy them. Think about it, (I did!). I was thinking about when we used to live out in North Cyprus and how I loved to take the daughter (3 yrs old at the time) to what I called our secret valley - why secret? because you couldn't see it from the road and no one other than the odd flock of sheep or herd of goats used to go down there, but it was very near our house and I found it when I was exploring. The beauty of nature never ceases to amaze me, we had views right down the northern coast of Cyprus from the house and at night we would all sleep out under the stars. If anyone woke up during the night we would be lulled off to sleep again by the sound of the sea and the feeling of all being well in our lives as we were being 'at one' with nature. We grew most of our own fruit and vegetables in the incredibly fertile soil out there and felt thankful we could indeed appreciate what was all around us.
And there is purpose of this little offering, 'we could appreciate' what was all around us because we have (thankfully) our natural senses. Sight, hearing, taste, smell and touch. What would be the use of all the money in the world if we didn't have sight to see such beauty, or hearing your baby laugh etc., unless of course the money could pay for an operation to restore the sense.
I've heard people say they would wish for wealth first if they had three wishes because even if they didn't have health they could be ill in comfort! Really? how can you be comfortable if you are ill? Maybe I'm just a wimp but if I feel sick for a couple of days or have a constant headache, sore throat etc I feel so great when it's gone and I couldn't imagine being able to enjoy anything at all when I'm not well, so my heart goes out to those with chronic illnesses who still manage to smile. My wishes would be health first because if I have my health I can do anything (life is what you make it), then happiness ( because that would include everything being ok with my family and friends and finally wealth because though I could certainly manage well with the first two, I could do more for those that need a helpng hand (abused animals, street children etc).
So, there you have it dear reader, I am going to add some photos of what I call natural beauty, but I think they will be in the following post.
And there is purpose of this little offering, 'we could appreciate' what was all around us because we have (thankfully) our natural senses. Sight, hearing, taste, smell and touch. What would be the use of all the money in the world if we didn't have sight to see such beauty, or hearing your baby laugh etc., unless of course the money could pay for an operation to restore the sense.
I've heard people say they would wish for wealth first if they had three wishes because even if they didn't have health they could be ill in comfort! Really? how can you be comfortable if you are ill? Maybe I'm just a wimp but if I feel sick for a couple of days or have a constant headache, sore throat etc I feel so great when it's gone and I couldn't imagine being able to enjoy anything at all when I'm not well, so my heart goes out to those with chronic illnesses who still manage to smile. My wishes would be health first because if I have my health I can do anything (life is what you make it), then happiness ( because that would include everything being ok with my family and friends and finally wealth because though I could certainly manage well with the first two, I could do more for those that need a helpng hand (abused animals, street children etc).
So, there you have it dear reader, I am going to add some photos of what I call natural beauty, but I think they will be in the following post.
Wednesday, 12 March 2008
A lesson from nature - wolves.........
I have always loved wolves. I'm not sure whether this has to do with any past lives issue or the fact that until 8 years ago we used to keep wolf-like German Shepherds (dogs!). Loving these magnificent animals was instinctual for me it comes from some primordial inner feeling that I have no control over and if I could I would introduce them back into the wild in the UK.
Wolves have historically received bad press; maneating predators, enemy of the livestock farmer, ferocious beasts just waiting to pounce on an unsuspecting chlld, person, animal, just to kill. We also have stories such as Little Red Riding Hood which coditions our children from a very early age to hate and fear these wonderful and much maligned creatures. Many horror films have been made of 'Werewolves' and the crazed bloodlust they have to satisfy at the time of the full moon.
But what of the facts about wolves? Not many people bother to find out the truth. You only have to delve a little deeper into the subject and a whole different character emerges. (Excuse me while I get the soapbox out...')
The wolf is a highly social pack animal. There is total order within the pack and this is kept by the dominant male and female otherwise known as the Alpha male and Alpha female. Wolves mate for life, they are fiercely protective of their pack and their territory. In Scandinavia some years ago they were rounding up wolves to take to a conservation area that had been set up in the north and a large male had been darted and loaded onto a lorry and taken along with others. His mate was not caught and when she found him gone she made a 300 kms trek north following scent or perhaps some inner calling and just over a week later she was found on the outskirts of the reservation attempting to burrow under the fence. She was of course let in and when she met up with her mate once again there was much celebration (wolf style!).
The other important members of the hierarchy that we know about are the Beta wolf, usually a male, second in line to the Alpha and he is responisible for enforcing law and order within the pack but is subservient to the Alpha, he also teaches the young through what we see as play and reprimands and often babysits them. Then there is the Omega wolf he/she adopts a role just as vital as the Alpha though it often seems as if the Omega is everyone's 'whipping boy', her/his role is one of Peacemaker. Somewhat like a court jester, the Omega clowns around, getting in between pack members when it seems tensions are running high which results in the Omega being set upon by nearly all members of the pack to relieve their aggression, the Omega is often seen adopint the submissive position with all other members of the pack. This may seem like a raw deal for this sensitive animal but the Omega is not necessarily a lifelong role and it has been known for a Beta to protect the Omega and also for the Omega (female) to rise to Alpha status should something happen to the original Alpha.
Mating only occurs between the Alpha pair, this ensures the pack continues, just one litter to feed and protect and remembering that the Alpha pair are the strongest, finest of their pack it also ensures strong genes are passed on. At the time the Alpha female is in Season the others in the pack become a little unsettled but this soon passes and once conception occurs te pheromones change and everyone is aware of what is happening.
When the female is near to whelping she seeks out and prepares a den in which she feels safe to have her cubs. As her time comes she steals off to her den alone to give birth. Other members will go to leave food outside her den but do not disturb her as she is fiercely protective at this time. After a few weeks, once she feels the cubs are ready to be introduced to the rest of their pack she leads them back to where the pack are living and this is a time of great welcoming and celebration between all of the members of the pack.
Each pack member will protect the cubs, help to nurture them and discipline them when they step out of line.
I think as humans we could learn an awful lot from the fine example that is set by wolves.
Wolves have historically received bad press; maneating predators, enemy of the livestock farmer, ferocious beasts just waiting to pounce on an unsuspecting chlld, person, animal, just to kill. We also have stories such as Little Red Riding Hood which coditions our children from a very early age to hate and fear these wonderful and much maligned creatures. Many horror films have been made of 'Werewolves' and the crazed bloodlust they have to satisfy at the time of the full moon.
But what of the facts about wolves? Not many people bother to find out the truth. You only have to delve a little deeper into the subject and a whole different character emerges. (Excuse me while I get the soapbox out...')
The wolf is a highly social pack animal. There is total order within the pack and this is kept by the dominant male and female otherwise known as the Alpha male and Alpha female. Wolves mate for life, they are fiercely protective of their pack and their territory. In Scandinavia some years ago they were rounding up wolves to take to a conservation area that had been set up in the north and a large male had been darted and loaded onto a lorry and taken along with others. His mate was not caught and when she found him gone she made a 300 kms trek north following scent or perhaps some inner calling and just over a week later she was found on the outskirts of the reservation attempting to burrow under the fence. She was of course let in and when she met up with her mate once again there was much celebration (wolf style!).
The other important members of the hierarchy that we know about are the Beta wolf, usually a male, second in line to the Alpha and he is responisible for enforcing law and order within the pack but is subservient to the Alpha, he also teaches the young through what we see as play and reprimands and often babysits them. Then there is the Omega wolf he/she adopts a role just as vital as the Alpha though it often seems as if the Omega is everyone's 'whipping boy', her/his role is one of Peacemaker. Somewhat like a court jester, the Omega clowns around, getting in between pack members when it seems tensions are running high which results in the Omega being set upon by nearly all members of the pack to relieve their aggression, the Omega is often seen adopint the submissive position with all other members of the pack. This may seem like a raw deal for this sensitive animal but the Omega is not necessarily a lifelong role and it has been known for a Beta to protect the Omega and also for the Omega (female) to rise to Alpha status should something happen to the original Alpha.
Mating only occurs between the Alpha pair, this ensures the pack continues, just one litter to feed and protect and remembering that the Alpha pair are the strongest, finest of their pack it also ensures strong genes are passed on. At the time the Alpha female is in Season the others in the pack become a little unsettled but this soon passes and once conception occurs te pheromones change and everyone is aware of what is happening.
When the female is near to whelping she seeks out and prepares a den in which she feels safe to have her cubs. As her time comes she steals off to her den alone to give birth. Other members will go to leave food outside her den but do not disturb her as she is fiercely protective at this time. After a few weeks, once she feels the cubs are ready to be introduced to the rest of their pack she leads them back to where the pack are living and this is a time of great welcoming and celebration between all of the members of the pack.
Each pack member will protect the cubs, help to nurture them and discipline them when they step out of line.
I think as humans we could learn an awful lot from the fine example that is set by wolves.
Sunday, 9 March 2008
Another year's gone by..........
With the passing of yet another birthday (I'm trying not to count, but it seems everyone else does!) I am again pondering my existence and what (if any) benefit I am to this world. What is my purpose in this life? am I doing the best I can to help those around me (should they want my help), or am I selfishly bulldozing my way through this life according to how I believe things should be? How selfish is that?
The reason for all this inner turmoil is that during my latest Uni course (the learning never stops!) there was an in depth discussion on 'self-actualisation' and of course for those of you who know me, being a Humanistic counsellor (Person Centred) I am naturally a self-actualiser (and proud of it!!!) BUT, (oh yes, here it comes..) how selfish is that to those close to me?
I thought I'd ask the daughter whether she thought I'm selfish, her answer? "Well, you can be sometimes...." I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach, that I, the original earth mother, fearless she-wolf who would protect her pack unto death, supreme sacrificial being who would suffer anything and everything for her offspring (not to mention butt wiping, snot cleaning, taxi driving, horse feeding, grooming and mucking out (in all weathers), in fact -! when did I actually begin to have a life?
"Really?, what makes you say that darling?" I asked.
"Well, like the time on Christmas night, when you stopped playing scrabble in the middle of the game" she said
"But you were cheating, and I didn't want to be a party to that." I replied
"But it was just a bit of fun, why take it so seriously?" she said
"You know I hate cheating, so I just removed myself from the situation."
"Okay, but that spoilt the game for us, so that's what I mean about you being selfish at times".
"I'm sorry you felt that way but I would have felt uncomfortable playing on afte that, so I did what I felt best at the time".
"Exactly, anyway it's no big deal, you asked me and I told you!" and with that she went back to her ipod so end of conversation.
Thinking back and examining my feelings of the time I did not want to continue in a game where there was cheating taking place. Does that mean I'm a 'spoil-sport'? Am I guilty of having a hissy fit and 'spitting my dummy out'? or can it not be seen as a sensible decision made by an adult, utilising her Human Right to make a choice for herself?
So, how selfish am I? I am completely self-responsible and will hold my hands up to anything I do. I'm not afraid to make mistakes because I see them as opportunities for learning curves but selfishness to me is something a person does to the DETRIMENT of others, whereas I would sacrifice everything for those I love if I needed to.
The reason for all this inner turmoil is that during my latest Uni course (the learning never stops!) there was an in depth discussion on 'self-actualisation' and of course for those of you who know me, being a Humanistic counsellor (Person Centred) I am naturally a self-actualiser (and proud of it!!!) BUT, (oh yes, here it comes..) how selfish is that to those close to me?
I thought I'd ask the daughter whether she thought I'm selfish, her answer? "Well, you can be sometimes...." I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach, that I, the original earth mother, fearless she-wolf who would protect her pack unto death, supreme sacrificial being who would suffer anything and everything for her offspring (not to mention butt wiping, snot cleaning, taxi driving, horse feeding, grooming and mucking out (in all weathers), in fact -! when did I actually begin to have a life?
"Really?, what makes you say that darling?" I asked.
"Well, like the time on Christmas night, when you stopped playing scrabble in the middle of the game" she said
"But you were cheating, and I didn't want to be a party to that." I replied
"But it was just a bit of fun, why take it so seriously?" she said
"You know I hate cheating, so I just removed myself from the situation."
"Okay, but that spoilt the game for us, so that's what I mean about you being selfish at times".
"I'm sorry you felt that way but I would have felt uncomfortable playing on afte that, so I did what I felt best at the time".
"Exactly, anyway it's no big deal, you asked me and I told you!" and with that she went back to her ipod so end of conversation.
Thinking back and examining my feelings of the time I did not want to continue in a game where there was cheating taking place. Does that mean I'm a 'spoil-sport'? Am I guilty of having a hissy fit and 'spitting my dummy out'? or can it not be seen as a sensible decision made by an adult, utilising her Human Right to make a choice for herself?
So, how selfish am I? I am completely self-responsible and will hold my hands up to anything I do. I'm not afraid to make mistakes because I see them as opportunities for learning curves but selfishness to me is something a person does to the DETRIMENT of others, whereas I would sacrifice everything for those I love if I needed to.
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