Coming home...

Afternoon,

I was wondering what to write today's offering on but actually it came to me as soon as I set foot in the door at my partner's house.  I felt/feel 'at home', not like a visitor, not like a guest but as though this is my home, OUR home and that is a very happy feeling for me.  Home is certainly not and never has been about the four walls to me but where love is, where I love and am loved THAT is my definition of a 'home'.

I left my mum's around lunch time and in fact felt excited to leave there as I don't feel 'at home' there, bless her, she likes things to be a certain way and of course that's the way it should be but that unfortunately includes exuding a feeling that I am most certainly in HER space, interfering with HER ways.  Try as I might I have not been able to get her to embrace my presence in HER home.  This is so totally the opposite of how I am with my lot as, if I only had the money I would have us all living under one roof or at least in one area so that we could all interact constantly....THAT is HOME to me, the more friends and family the better...years ago when the kids were younger I always had an open house with their friends constantly in and out, eating with us, often staying with us and I could not have been happier than with that situation.  This was somewhat of a bone of contention with my then husband as he hated having them there all the time, he also liked his own space, he sought a lone existence, which is why he used to go away on his own - to get away from us albeit that he would ring constantly to say how much he missed me...but let's face it words can say anything it's actions that actually speak the language and get the message across.  He would book to go away on his own whenever he could.

Anyway I digress, I am feeling at home now even though I don't actually live here and I look forward to the day that we can manage to get a place of our own so that it will in fact be OUR home not hers or mine.  Hopefully it won't be too long for us.  We should have ironed out our differences by the time that happens I am sincerely hoping for this so that we don't have any problems once in our new place.  We don't have much to iron out and all it boils down to for my side I think is that I want/need my partner to embrace our relationship openly without fear, without shame and be proud of who she is, who we are.  TIme is moving on and with it more people are becoming educated in relation to same sex couples so it's just a matter of not making it a problem because it isn't a problem, it only becomes a problem if you make it one by thinking of it as one.  Again power of positive thought - To change absolutely everything and anything in life you just have to change the way you think about it.
Simples!! lol...

A few years back we were all set to get married or at least CP'd but that fell by the way side somehow and I have said that I understand she doesn't want to do that which is fair enough.  I am not going to insist on us getting married in the future if she doesn't want to so I have said I know we are not going down that avenue.  However, if she ever proposed to me I think I might just surprise her by accepting :)) but it will remain unspoken from my side as I don't want to scare her off.