A little bit of advice........

We're back from TRNC having checked on progress of our new build. It is well ahead of schedule and all controls (building inspections by our civil engineer) have been passed at each stage of the build so far.
We returned a couple of days ago and I received a comment from someone who has had a bad experience with their builder over there which seems to have tarred his view of the place. This has prompted me to publish some notes of advice on the subject.
Advice is not something I like to give because I believe that everyone is entitled to make their own decisions and indeed is responsible for those decisions whatever the outcome happens to be.
I am aware that there are cases of people having lost money on projects that they have agreed to and I am not about to criticise anyone else for their actions, what I am going to do is write about our first building experience in the TRNC back in 1990 in which we lost an awful lot of hard earned money.
I am not blaming anyone else for our predicament, we ought to have been more sensible, we should have insisted on independant checks, and we should have realised that what seemed too good to be true was exactly that!!!

We ended up spending three times as much as we were quoted for the house, in the first rain of the year we had water coming through the walls, pouring under the doors because the balconies were all slightly slanted towards the house, we had sewage seeping into some walls due to faulty plumbing and numerous other disastrous happenings. The most amazing thing is that the person who was entrusted as the contractor for the build was actually building on top of his house at the same time and guess what? each time we went there I was amazed to see that he had chosen the same tiles, the same windows, the same doors - I'm sure you get the idea - but do you know something? I didn't, of course when I look back I can hardly believe how stupid it was of us not to suspect it but we didn't!
So this time, we have done our homework, steered clear of the 'big boys' who were trying to sell off plan (definite recipe for disaster) and bought our land, engaged an architect, civil engineer, got plans passed and permission to build, etc. then we went to see examples of the builders work and spoke to the people in those houses to see what their experience had been and had everything written into the contracts including that the last payment will be kept back until after we move in and are happy with the whole house.
So people this is the way to buy and build ANYWHERE. Again, I refuse to blame anyone else but once bitten, twice shy and so we are now doing the sensible thing which we should have done in the first place.
As I said in my answer to the comment - the TRNC is still a corner of heaven but the inhabitants are not all angels!

A little corner of heaven, right here on earth.....

This is our second home country and will become our main country of residence once we retire. Northern Cyprus, the Turkish Republic of Northern Cyprus, it's a veritable paradise! The people are so friendly, so helpful, they would share their last meal with you. The rugged, natural beauty of the country is wonderful and still we find beaches with no one else on just a stretch of golden sand. Thankfully there are not too many tourists in the North as there are in the South of Cyprus. We are going out to see what progress has been made on our new villa. It will be so nice just to have a rest and to catch some sun. I was thinking earlier of an acquaintance from years ago, she was a very independant lady and a little eccentric (sounds just like me really!). Anyway she used to have a day each week on which she she would maintain silence, it was her day for contemplation. I used to thnk that it was not that worthwhile but as I get older I feel I coulod probably have one of these days myself, although it would not be easy in the beginning and I wouod have to have a notice on hand for an explanation for all the people who would forget. Then there would be a dilemma over the 'phone, in fact as nice as it sounds I think I've just talked myself out of it again, at least for the moment....................

Compassion..........

I was talking this afternoon with my sister-in-law (hubby's older sister) and her husband. They are really pleasant and gentle people. We were discussing Scrooge, sorry, hubby's selfish, nasty, penny pinching brother and I gave my honest opinion and how sad I find it that he is all 'me, me, me' when he has two surviving offspring who yearn for his love. I said I thought if everyone were honest with him instead of pandering to him he may decide to change. My sister-in-law said though they know what he is like and he has always been so, they are unable to voice their true opinion due to (probably) cultural reasons and that being polite as opposed to being honest if the honesty could cause upset, is how they maintain relationships with other people, family, friends or even strangers.
I gave considerable thought to this and I love, accept and respect them and their ways, but personally I could not be true to myself if I were any other way than I am.
I think this may seem hard perhaps to some but I am certainly not without compassion. I would be very happy to work with and help Scrooge if he wanted to change his ways, I would do my very best for him to help him rebuild his relationships with his children.
He's going through a hard time at the moment. When you make money your God, love disappears from your life and this is something he is experiencing but seems unable or unwilling to change the destructive pattern. I hope forf the sake of his kids he will see sense and realise the most important fortune one can have in life is the love of your family and then even the penniless can be a millionaire!

The day that changed my life

I have not always been as I am now. The thing is though, I can't remember properly what I was like or how I used to think before one fateful day in October 1992, the day my whole life changed and left me distraught and reeling. Of course I am referring to the day my Dad suffered a massive brain haemorrhage. I do remember the knock on the door, a policeman standing on the doorstep, I remember wondering what on earth he could possibly want and I remember listening to what he was saying all the time thinking how unreal everything seemed.
I really don't know how I drove to collect my sons and daughter from school and then on down to London, I don't remember much about the journey other than I was driving in desperation trying to see through tears, trying to reach him in the Intensive Care Unit before his life ebbed away. When I got there although his body was still breathing and his heart still beating I knew my Dad was no longer in there.
All at once I knew I no longer had a chance to tell him how much I loved him, it was something that none of us ever said to each other. You see when I think of that now I cannot even imagine what prevented me from saying those few little words, I can't remember my feelings about it and now as I say this to each of my family often it seems as though it wasn't me then - well, it certainly wasn't the me that I am now!
I had some really odd thoughts in the days after Dad died. I would keep trying to make a bargain with God, I'd say " Please just let my Dad come to my front door now and I promise I won't say anything like - I thought you died" I mean as if that could ever happen! I would be out shopping and very nearly ran up to a few different men with their backs to me thinking it was him. I know now this was just the early stages of normal grief and mourning for someone so close but at the time I felt as if I was losing my mind.
The one thing that I found so very difficult to accept was that I had no idea that he was dying. Now this probably seems a bit odd to anyone reading this if they don't know me, but throughout my life I have had psychic experiences concerning close family, for instance I could hear my Uncle calling my name when he was in hospital and he was alone and dying and I so I was able to get his daughter to go in there and she was with him when he died. Why didn't I 'know' that my Dad was about to suffer a massive stroke?
Anyway, of course, que sera, sera. I wasn't meant to know, his time was up and there is nothing anyone can do to prevent the final calling.
So, that was the beginning of the rest of my life, I miss my Dad every day and hope he is proud of the person I have become - Dad, my love always, J xxx